A tale or two of craziness
Hello! Thanks to the one and a half thousand people who viewed my last post. This blog is growing! Now, this post is my attempt to document all the crazy stuff that has happened in D&D games to me in the last year and a half. Let's begin with my first ever campaign:
Campaign the First (AKA Why You Should Read the Rules)
MY PLAYERS!!!! DO NOT READ THIS BIT!!!! IT MAY HAVE SPOILERS FOR AN UPCOMING CAMPAIGN!!!!
I didn't know what I was doing! I hadn't read the adventure! I thought a damage roll and an attack roll were the same thing (It was 5e)!
We were playing LMOP which, looking back, I see would have been a fantastic adventure if I had a little more experience.
I don't remember everything that happened, but I'm pretty sure I tried to create an epic adventure, which ended with mind flayers awakening the Tarrasque and supercharging it with energy from the far realm. I had no idea whether this was a good idea or a bad idea, but I now realize it sounds pretty cool. I think that would have made an awesome campaign! I might try to run that right one day! If only they had been a bit higher level.
I think I wanted to run that boss fight (with an archmage, a few mind flayers and possibly beholder, plus one supercharged tarrasque) at 6th or 7th level.
Luckily, the campaign ended before that happened.
Another problem with this campaign was that I had developed a very DM vs Players mindset. I railroaded them to a city which was then place under siege by superior numbers and a dragon.
I'm sorry players.
My Friend's Campaign
This is the only time I've ever been a player. A friend of mine tried DMing, and it started out OK. I was playing a druid, and then the sorcerer burned down half an ancient forest in our first session. OK, I'm sure it'll get better.
We went to a city to get a job from a king. He wanted us to take out a rebel leader. I kept asking what the leader looked like. I would have at least liked to know the leader's gender and species. The King (we never did get his real name) just kept saying "You'll know him when you see him". He eventually said the leader was a male half-orc. I was suspicious.
We stayed the night at an inn, and I questioned some people about the king. They all said basically the exact same thing: "What, the King. Oh, yeah, he's great". Every. Single. Time I asked someone!
They must be enchanted, right?
Nup. They were ordinary people. Next day, we went off to fight the rebels.
After a few travel encounters, we reached the rebels hideout. I missed a session here, and apparently missed a good one. The knocked out people while they were sitting on the toilet.
We found their main room. The sorcerer snuck around causing invisible mischief, the fighter disguised himself and I wild shaped into an ant. There was an elf on some sort of throne, but we couldn't find a half-orc anywhere. I held a knife up to the elf and demanded to know where the half-orc was.
Turns out, the DM had forgotten that the enemy leader was supposed to be a half-orc.
Also turns out, the king was evil and the rebels were good. I called it! One thing though...
We killed about 4 rebels...
And the "good" rebel leader didn't care. At all!
Oh well.
The rest of the stuff that happened is completely ridicules, and I was pretty annoyed at the time. Now I just think of it as kind of dumb but funny.
So, We went back to the city to kill the king (with tons of magic items. Like, a few legendary magic items at 5th level). I can't remember exactly how we got them. Some kind of vault?
It turned out he was an ancient red dragon with shapeshifting powers. He captured the other 2 players (I escaped by not being there) and put them in a dungeon. And they were trapped there, with the king taunting them, for several sessions.
So, when we finally killed the king (sort of - I put him in a bag of holding then broke it, teleporting him to the astral plane, we went to another city for some reason... I think I was cursed or something for using that knife (which I stole from the king's room) against the king.
"That's why it had a sheet of glass protecting it", the DM explained. I'm pretty sure he never said that when I was stealing it, although it is possible I just didn't hear him.
Anyway, Once my curse had been cured - at the cost of several limbs (they grew back) - another player started hearing a voice in their head. It told them to let a frog swallow him and the other player (I was busy having my arms and leg regrown).
So, after being swallowed by an invulnerable frog, the players ended up in Limbo. They were greeted by fluffy, purple immortals (or maybe they were gooey purple immortals - I'm not sure), who needed them to destroy an entire castle of slaads.
The players said they needed me, so a frog fell from the sky and ate me as I was strolling through the streets testing out my new leg.
I appeared in limbo with my friends and the purple giant things, but no one would listen to a word I was saying. So, I panicked and attacked the purple whatchamacallits. Well, I did no damage and they one-shoted me.
So now it was my turn to be in prison for a session.
The others easily killed the slaads (they had been given these guns that let them kill like 4 slaads a round each) and were back quickly. 4 levels ahead of me! They did have time to discover, however, that they could use the guns to make a black hole.
So, it was then revealed that purple things were da da da evil. So, we killed them by creating a black hole. I think I escaped around this point (can't remember how).
Then Tiamat turned up with an army of dragons (seriously) and we fled by having the frog eat us. We ended up in the plane of fire, did something there, went to the plane of water, did something there (I think I was sentenced to death by some fish people by humming a song from pirates of the Caribbean), then washed up on an island with Davy Jones from pirates of the Caribbean and his high school locker, which contained his dad (Or maybe his dad's corpse. I can't remember).
We stopped around there.
OK, that's it for this week, but I have a few other crazy stories, so I'll post them in a week or two. And those were, actually, all true.
Oh, two more things. I have another D&D story here (this one's a lot less crazy), so you might want to check that out too.
And, if you have time, could you please fill out this 1 question poll (I'm trying to make a tabletop rpg).
If you have any feedback, please make a comment.
Campaign the First (AKA Why You Should Read the Rules)
MY PLAYERS!!!! DO NOT READ THIS BIT!!!! IT MAY HAVE SPOILERS FOR AN UPCOMING CAMPAIGN!!!!
I didn't know what I was doing! I hadn't read the adventure! I thought a damage roll and an attack roll were the same thing (It was 5e)!
We were playing LMOP which, looking back, I see would have been a fantastic adventure if I had a little more experience.
I don't remember everything that happened, but I'm pretty sure I tried to create an epic adventure, which ended with mind flayers awakening the Tarrasque and supercharging it with energy from the far realm. I had no idea whether this was a good idea or a bad idea, but I now realize it sounds pretty cool. I think that would have made an awesome campaign! I might try to run that right one day! If only they had been a bit higher level.
I think I wanted to run that boss fight (with an archmage, a few mind flayers and possibly beholder, plus one supercharged tarrasque) at 6th or 7th level.
Luckily, the campaign ended before that happened.
Another problem with this campaign was that I had developed a very DM vs Players mindset. I railroaded them to a city which was then place under siege by superior numbers and a dragon.
I'm sorry players.
My Friend's Campaign
This is the only time I've ever been a player. A friend of mine tried DMing, and it started out OK. I was playing a druid, and then the sorcerer burned down half an ancient forest in our first session. OK, I'm sure it'll get better.
We went to a city to get a job from a king. He wanted us to take out a rebel leader. I kept asking what the leader looked like. I would have at least liked to know the leader's gender and species. The King (we never did get his real name) just kept saying "You'll know him when you see him". He eventually said the leader was a male half-orc. I was suspicious.
We stayed the night at an inn, and I questioned some people about the king. They all said basically the exact same thing: "What, the King. Oh, yeah, he's great". Every. Single. Time I asked someone!
They must be enchanted, right?
Nup. They were ordinary people. Next day, we went off to fight the rebels.
After a few travel encounters, we reached the rebels hideout. I missed a session here, and apparently missed a good one. The knocked out people while they were sitting on the toilet.
We found their main room. The sorcerer snuck around causing invisible mischief, the fighter disguised himself and I wild shaped into an ant. There was an elf on some sort of throne, but we couldn't find a half-orc anywhere. I held a knife up to the elf and demanded to know where the half-orc was.
Turns out, the DM had forgotten that the enemy leader was supposed to be a half-orc.
Also turns out, the king was evil and the rebels were good. I called it! One thing though...
We killed about 4 rebels...
And the "good" rebel leader didn't care. At all!
Oh well.
The rest of the stuff that happened is completely ridicules, and I was pretty annoyed at the time. Now I just think of it as kind of dumb but funny.
So, We went back to the city to kill the king (with tons of magic items. Like, a few legendary magic items at 5th level). I can't remember exactly how we got them. Some kind of vault?
It turned out he was an ancient red dragon with shapeshifting powers. He captured the other 2 players (I escaped by not being there) and put them in a dungeon. And they were trapped there, with the king taunting them, for several sessions.
So, when we finally killed the king (sort of - I put him in a bag of holding then broke it, teleporting him to the astral plane, we went to another city for some reason... I think I was cursed or something for using that knife (which I stole from the king's room) against the king.
"That's why it had a sheet of glass protecting it", the DM explained. I'm pretty sure he never said that when I was stealing it, although it is possible I just didn't hear him.
Anyway, Once my curse had been cured - at the cost of several limbs (they grew back) - another player started hearing a voice in their head. It told them to let a frog swallow him and the other player (I was busy having my arms and leg regrown).
So, after being swallowed by an invulnerable frog, the players ended up in Limbo. They were greeted by fluffy, purple immortals (or maybe they were gooey purple immortals - I'm not sure), who needed them to destroy an entire castle of slaads.
The players said they needed me, so a frog fell from the sky and ate me as I was strolling through the streets testing out my new leg.
I appeared in limbo with my friends and the purple giant things, but no one would listen to a word I was saying. So, I panicked and attacked the purple whatchamacallits. Well, I did no damage and they one-shoted me.
So now it was my turn to be in prison for a session.
The others easily killed the slaads (they had been given these guns that let them kill like 4 slaads a round each) and were back quickly. 4 levels ahead of me! They did have time to discover, however, that they could use the guns to make a black hole.
So, it was then revealed that purple things were da da da evil. So, we killed them by creating a black hole. I think I escaped around this point (can't remember how).
Then Tiamat turned up with an army of dragons (seriously) and we fled by having the frog eat us. We ended up in the plane of fire, did something there, went to the plane of water, did something there (I think I was sentenced to death by some fish people by humming a song from pirates of the Caribbean), then washed up on an island with Davy Jones from pirates of the Caribbean and his high school locker, which contained his dad (Or maybe his dad's corpse. I can't remember).
We stopped around there.
OK, that's it for this week, but I have a few other crazy stories, so I'll post them in a week or two. And those were, actually, all true.
Oh, two more things. I have another D&D story here (this one's a lot less crazy), so you might want to check that out too.
And, if you have time, could you please fill out this 1 question poll (I'm trying to make a tabletop rpg).
If you have any feedback, please make a comment.
Comments
Post a Comment